Yo ho, A Pirate's Life Thingy For Me
by Kitty Korpse
Summary: Mattie and her friends form a crew of pirates and are heading to Nickelodeon Studios to avenge Zim. How will they do it? Well... read to find out.
1. Yo Ho, A Pirate's Life For Me

_**Okay, I know I've been writing too much, and I know I have two unfinished fics. But this is just too much for my head, and I fear the walls will be splattered with bits of head and brain if I don't get it out, so hear it is. And also, I know this has been done way too many times, but I feel like writing one myself. And if you people don't like writers including themselves in the fic, you can kiss a hairy monkey's ass.**_

_**On with the fic :)**_

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Mattie and her friends sat in a circle on January 17th, the anniversary of the day Zim had been canceled. Mattie's head was hung low, her short, dyed-blonde hair hanging over one eye. Her black nailed fingers interlocked with her friends' fingers. The friend on her left, Alyssa, also had her head hung, but her brown hair was kept back out of her pretty face. Her hazel eyes were set on the Invader Zim shirt on the friend across from her, whose name was Mallory. Mallory's pitch black hair hung in curtains on the sides of her face, and she was giggling as she remembered her favorite episode.

"We have to do something about this," Mattie was the one to break the silence, apart from Mallory's giggling.

"And what would three teenage girls do? Throw make-up at them?", Alyssa said. Mattie glared at her friend.

"That's no way to talk, I'm being serious. We can't just stand by and let this happ--"

"It already has," Mallory stated, now done with her giggling. "It's been four years. What could we possibly do?"

Mattie thought long and hard. She didn't care if it had been four years, didn't care if it was too late. She knew she could never get the show back on the air, that was out of the question. But that didn't mean she couldn't get revenge. She stood up and walked into her closet, shutting the door. She opened it back up after a few minutes, only to a crack, and asked her friends to go home, and that she would call them when she was ready.

"Ready for what?" they both inquired at the same time. Mattie merely shook her head. She watched them leave and closed the door again.

She picked through her clothes, searching for ones special enough for the occasion. She needed something easy to move in, for she was about to go to Nickelodeon Studios itself. She pulled on a long sleeved, white undershirt. She liked it very much, especially the baggy sleeves. They reminded her a lot of pirates. Pirates. That was it. She was going to be a captain of her own crew, have her own ship, everything-- except maybe an eye patch. Over her white undershirt she pulled on a black and white pinstriped vest, along with pinstriped pants. She wrapped a black bandana around her forehead, letting two pieces of her hair hang over it. She liked her hair like that, probably because it reminded her of everyone's favorite homicidal maniac. Only they didn't stick up like Johnny's did, they hung down more. She pulled the rest of her hair back and admired the white skull and cross bones on her bandana, that went along with her earrings and choker. She started on her back up, sort of thick black eyeliner below her eye, smoky black eye shadow on her eye lid. She put on a white belt and pulled on her black "Johnny" boots. By the time she was ready, it was 10 PM.

She moved towards the phone, picked it up, and dialed Alyssa's number. A sleep voice reached her, asking who was calling.

"It's me, Mattie. I told you I would call when I was ready. Three way Mallory, k?" Mattie said in a hurry. Alyssa grunted okay and a few seconds later, Mallory's voice filled Mattie's ear. Mattie told them to get dressed, preferably in pirate-looking clothes. A silence met her, broken only by nervous questions as to why. Mattie said she would explain it when she got to Alyssa's house, and that Mallory should meet them there. Mattie hung up the phone and made her way out of the house.

She walked down the road, getting nervous glances from passerby. Being dressed like a pirate and having people give her funny looks made Mattie happy, and she just smiled at the people, saying things like "argh matey" or "shiver me timbers". Laughing, she knocked on Alyssa's front door. Mattie waited for a few minutes, and when no one answered, she decided to take the matter in her own hands. She went around to the side of the house, looking for Alyssa's window. When she found it, she noticed the tree branches next to it. Perfect.

She jumped up on the tree, holding on to one of the lower branches, and fell. She slowly got back up, brushing herself off. She tried it again, slipped, but this time caught herself and kept her grip firm. She pulled herself up onto branch after branch, until at last she was at Alyssa's window. She pushed it up and crawled through. The room was dark, but she could just make out Alyssa lying in the bed, asleep. Mattie rolled her eyes and jumped on the bed, standing over her friend.

"Up, you scurvy puppy!" She yelled. She hadn't quite mastered the art of pirate language. Alyssa opened her eyes slowly and looked up. She paused for a minute.

"That better be you, Mattie" she said as she reached to the lamp on her night stand. Once the light hit Mattie, Alyssa burst out laughing. "What are you wearing? Halloween is far, far away!"

Mattie raised an eyebrow and squinted one eye, nudging her friend in the ribs with her boot. "I thought I told you to get ready?" she said, ignoring the question.

"Oh... you were serious?" Alyssa asked. She got up and went into her closet, coming out two seconds later in black pants and a purple Invader Zim shirt. "Not too fond of pirate clothes, sorry."

"That's okay," Mattie said, sitting on the edge of Alyssa's bed. "Your shirt is perfect anyway." Mattie smiled. Alyssa put her hands on her hips and it was her turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Are you still on about that whole 'we have to do something' thing?" she said. "Mattie, please, get over it. I love Invader Zim as much as you do, but I'm not going to go screaming in the face of the president of Nick!"

Mattie looked down to her knees. She opened her mouth to say something, but at that moment Mallory burst through the bedroom door, dressed as a pirate and sloshing root beer everywhere. "A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR MEEEEEEEEE!" she screamed. Mattie fell off the bed laughing.

"How did you get in?" Alyssa asked, staring at Mallory in disbelief.

"Magic," Mallory said. She looked to Mattie's figure on the floor. "So what did you want us here for?"

Mattie stood up, looking at her two friends, all laughter gone. "We're going to Nick Studios, to avenge Zim." Alyssa sighed but Mallory said nothing, she kept listening intently. "I mean, come on guys," Mattie continued, "I know it's been four years. I know we can't get it back on TV, but we have to teach those people there that they just can't do this. Zim was the best thing they had, and they were dumb enough to throw it away, and break the hearts of it's fans. It's just not right."

Alyssa stared down at her feet. "Fine," she sighed. "What do we need to do?"

Mattie beamed at her friends and began to tell them her plan.

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_**Cliiiiiiffhanger of doomy doom dooooooom... yes. I promise Invader Zim chars will be involved in the next few chapters, but we gotta work to that point, savvy? And if you don't like this fic, see the above author's note. Thank you and goodnight.**_


	2. AYE! AVAST!

_**Yes! Good reviews! Now here comes chapter two! Yes! okay! Here we go!**_

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Mattie, Mallory, and Alyssa were walking down the sidewalk, and it was now 11:15. They had agreed to Mattie's pirate-y plan, and Alyssa wasn't being so sarcastic, she was being her normal fun self.

"So where are we going?" Mallory asked through sips of her Brain Freezy. Mattie didn't answer, but kept walking. She thought that if she told them what they were about to do, they would back out on her. She stared down at the GIR plushie she now held (heh heh) and squeezed it so it screamed. It almost made her sick. She looked up again and grinned as a sign ahead came into view, bearing the words "RV WORLD OF DOOM". Her pace quickened and her friends hurried along behind her. Mattie wheeled around one last time to face her friends, just outside the entrance to the RV World.

"Speak truthfully, you scurvy puppies. Do you have the bravery to fight a wild moose and obey your captain in the face of almost certain death?" she said, narrowing her eyes.

Mallory and Alyssa looked at each other, then back at Mattie and nodded.

"Heck yes and a bottle of rum!" Alyssa exclaimed. Mallory merely screamed and sloshed root beer flavored Brain Freezy everywhere. Mattie nodded in approval and moved forward into the RV World, admiring the way her sleeves billowed.

She looked around at the RVs, thanking fate that there were no guards or anything. Finally, she found the perfect one. It was a dark grayish color, with a lighter gray roof and doors. It was rather large, which made it perfect to hold an entire crew, and hostages if needed. She moved forward to open the door and found that it was locked.

"Mattie," Alyssa said seriously, "we don't have any money. How are we going to buy that RV?" Mattie laughed out loud.

"We're PIRATES, Alyssa! We don't worry about if we can afford it! We're going to STEAL it, Alyssa! But first we need to get the keys," Mattie said, looking around again. She spotted a building, obviously where you went to make the deal. Mattie ran towards it and was relieved when it was unlocked. She slipped inside, and found a guard leaning against a wall, fast asleep. Mattie could see the ring of keys dangling from his pockets. Mattie edged forward, never taking her eyes away from the guard's closed eyes. She outstretched her hand towards the keys and gasped as the guard's hand shot out and grabbed her wrist.

"What do you think you're do-- what are you wearing?" he said in a surprisingly high voice. Mattie jerked her hand out of his loosened grip, and went to pull her sword out, then realizing she didn't have one. Instead, she pulled out the GIR plushie and held it like a sword.

"AYE! AVAST!" she screamed. The guard glanced at the plush, then back at the pirate that was threatening him. He grinned a little.

"Is this some kind of joke?" he sneered.

"Give me the keys, you puppy! Or I'll send you to the bottom of the ocean!" Mattie screamed again, moving towards him a little. The guard laughed and pulled out his club, but Mattie was prepared. She pulled the GIR plushie back and swung it around, and there was a sickening sound of metal hitting skull. Mattie dropped what she had thought was a plush and stared as it's eyes lit up and it ran around her in circles. "... GIR?" she said uncertainly. The little robot stopped running and saluted Mattie. She grinned and realized she had another addition to her crew. She beckoned the little robot to the door after snatching up the keys, and the two walked out to the RV where her first mates stood. They both stared at GIR, asking bewildered questions, then squealed with joy. Mattie was busy locating the keys while Alyssa and Mallory played with GIR, then swung the door to the RV open. She stepped inside and yelled for the others to join her.

They looked around the RV and admired how large it really was. Mattie particularly enjoyed the fact that it had an opening in the roof, enabling her to climb out. The RV had hard wood floors, though they were black. The curtains were lime green and the walls were a shade of light blue. The RV had two couches, both opposite from each other, and three beds in the back. Mattie climbed in the driver's seat and started the motor. She backed out of the RV World, and thought for a moment on where to start. First of all, they needed swords. So off to the Dollar Tree it was. Mattie swerved in and out of cars while Mallory watched TV and Alyssa dozed off. GIR was looking out the window eagerly. Finally, the big green letters of the Dollar Tree came into view and Mattie stopped right in front of the building. She jumped out of the RV and made her way inside and to the toy aisle. She picked out a plastic sword in a box with a pirate on the front, who had been stabbed. She picked out two more, and got some balls to serve as bombs for GIR. She ran for the check out lane, pushing small children out of the way and throwing the stuff on the belt thing.

"Aren't you a little too old for these things, dearie?" the old cashier said. Mattie glared.

"Aren't you a little too OLD?" Mattie said. The woman said nothing but rang up the stuff, and said that it would be a total of 8979698797.98. Mattie grabbed her things and ran towards the door without paying. "I'm a pirate! I don't have to pay you!" She made it back out to the RV and got inside, throwing the swords to the two girls and the balls at GIR. Mattie ordered Mallory to explain to GIR what was going on and she made her way out of the parking lot. She drove for some time, at least until 1 in the morning. Finally, she came on a green house with a purple roof, and admired the flashing lights and yells coming from the windows.

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_**I really had fun with this chapter. I don't know what my favorite part is, when I hit the guy in the head with GIR or when I said "aren't you a little too OLD?" I dunno. Well, R&R, and I'm off to work on the next chapter already.**_


	3. Red Eyes and Pirate Monkeys

_**And here it is!**_

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Mattie parked the RV next to the sidewalk and stepped out. She walked right up to the door, listened to the yells for a few seconds, then knocked. Instantly the yells stopped, the door swung open, and red eyes met Mattie's green. The eyes raised a nonexistent eyebrow, but were gone as a dark figure tackled the owner of the eyes. Mattie pushed the door open to see two figures wrestling on the floor, a green one holding a camera, and a boy with spiky black hair trying to get the camera, screaming something about the other being an alien. It was Zim and Dib.

"LIIIIIEEESSS! I'M HUUUUMMAAANNN!" Zim screamed, noticing there was another human in his base. Mattie looked around, and with another sick feeling realized that after the show was canceled, Zim seemed to have fallen to pieces. Where there used to be clean, there was filth. Rubber piggies were thrown about, the picture of him and GIR together were smashed. Mattie kneeled down and pulled the two away from each other and they stopped fighting.

"Who are YOU?" they both said. Mattie sat them down on Zim's couch, which Mattie noticed had holes in it from where he had stabbed it with his spider legs, and told them her plan. She explained all about the crew, how they were pirates, and were going to avenge them. By the end of the explanation, Zim was grinning and making noises of glee. Dib, however, looked skeptical.

"PLASTIC swords? And what are we supposed to fight with? You only got enough for the two girls in that RV out there," Dib exclaimed. Mattie hadn't told them that GIR was out there too, she wanted to save it as a surprise for Zim. She could see it in his eyes, no matter how annoyed he had been by the little robot, he loved it dearly.

"Well... I thought Zim would have his own weapons," Mattie reasoned as Zim nodded eagerly, "and you... could fight with your enormous head. And it's a ship, not an RV." A silence followed Mattie's words. Then, finally, Dib spoke up.

"No! Nu uh! I'm not having my head be made fun of anymore! You can FORGET IT!" he screamed, getting up to walk out the door. He turned around again, his hand on the door knob. "And I don't care about getting revenge, I'm GLAD--" he was cut off as Mattie tackled him, shoving him in a straight jacket and shoving a rubber duck in his mouth.

"Glad to have you as a crew member," Mattie said, smiling. She ordered Zim to get his weapons and meet her in the RV. Zim's eagerness subsided slightly.

"YOU order ME? I AM ZIM!" he exclaimed, taking a step towards Mattie.

"Yes, but I am your captain. You will obey my orders or walk the plank, savvy?" Mattie's eyes narrowed like they had so many times before. Zim stared at Mattie, then left to go get his weapons. Mattie nodded at Zim's retreating back in approval, and made her way out to the RV, dragging Dib along with her. She threw him inside and crawled into the driver's seat. A few minutes later, Zim walked out the front door, his disguise on, and had a sack in his hand. He climbed inside the RV and set the sack down. Then, from the microwave, GIR shot out and latched on to Zim's head. Zim stood stunned for a few seconds, then tears of joy flowed down his face as he hugged his little SIR Unit. There were murmurs of "awwww" that were then drowned out by the motor starting.

"ARE YOU READY, YOU FILTHY PUPPIES?" Mattie screamed. They all shouted their approval, except Dib, of course, who still had the rubber duck in his mouth.

Mattie sped off again, this time setting coordinates for the RV to drive itself. Mattie got up from the driver's seat and walked about the RV, thinking.

"We need a name," she said quietly. She looked up to see Mallory and Alyssa nodding. "Come to the captain's quarters," she added, grabbing the two and dragging them to the back of the RV. They stepped inside the bathroom, pulled the sheet that served as a door shut, and began to speak to her first mates. They came up with names such as Sloogengloth, the Avengey-ness, and the Insane Gang. Mattie considered the Insane Gang, but was cut off by the doors beneath the sink shaking. Suddenly, a triangle shaped figure burst out through the doors and hovered above their heads. It's tongue was sticking out, and it was giggling.

"Who are you?" Alyssa asked it.

"I have no name! But I know what we can be called!" the thing screamed. The three girls stared at the purpleness and waited for it's suggestion. "How about...," it said dramatically, "THE PIRATE MONKEYS?"

Mattie stared at the thing, stunned. She realized where she had seen it before. Back Seat Drivers. And what a perfect name!

"The Pirate Monkeys it is!" she exclaimed, and ran from the bathroom to tell the others their name. Mattie sat down and grabbed a piece of cloth, writing "THE PIRATE MONKEYS" on it in very sketchy letters, and drew a monkey skull with bananas serving as the crossbones. She looked up as a red light flashed, filling the entire RV. An electronic voice filled Mattie's ears.

"Destination is five minutes away, Captain," it said. Mattie stood up to walk to the front window and peered out. As they got closer, Mattie could see the boarded up windows of a tiny shack, and the number 777 was visible next to the door.

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_**Ah you guys must hate me for the cliff hangers. But you're gonna hate me even more in the later chapters. Since it's only like 2:02 now, I'm going to go ahead and work on the next chapter. Ta ta, matey. s. o.O**_


	4. Argh Matey, ye be homicidal

_**Dear sweet angry Jesus, this is the fastest anyone has ever reviewed my stuff. I feel so friggen loved. Here's chapter 4!**_

_**((Johnny's probably a bit OOC. But hey, I tried, right?))**_

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The RV slowed to a stop in the driveway of the house. Every member of the Pirate Monkeys looked at each other, then to their captain. Mattie stared out the window, and could've sworn she saw something behind the boards move. Something inside her stomach squirmed when she thought she saw eyes, but she wasn't sure that the feeling was. It was mixed between fear, anxiety, and a need to run to the door, though she didn't really know where that feeling came from, other than the need for new crew members.

Mattie picked up her sword, slipped it in her belt, and made her way to the RV door, but was stopped as two hands laid on her shoulders. She turned to see Mallory and Alyssa staring at her with gloomy expression, but both wished her luck nonetheless. Mattie merely nodded and stepped outside into the chilly air. She walked up to the house and knocked on the front door. The minutes snailed by, but she could hear movement beyond the door, so obviously someone was coming. The door creaked open, and a pair of dark brown eyes peered out at her.

"Yes?" a cold voice accompanied them. It was like the voice used to be light, sweet, innocent, but something had twisted and deformed it into what it was now. Mattie loved that voice. She felt the same sensation in her stomach when the eyes swept over her, and she stuttered when she spoke.

"I... I want to ask a favor of you, John--" she started, but a hand had already grabbed her and was pulling her in. Mattie stumbled and fell to the dust ridden floor, coughing as it flew in her face. She rolled over and stood up, rubbing her knees where she had fell. She looked up and her eyes adjusted to the dark, and the figure of Johnny C. stood before her.

Some of his hair had started to grow back, but the two pieces in the front still stuck out like a sore thumb. Johnny was deathly thin, and there were dark circles around his eyes. He wore a black shirt with striped sleeves, black pants, and his usual boots. Mattie took note that one hand was behind his back, obviously holding a knife. Mattie still stood slightly crouched, pretending to rub her knees, but really she had a firm grip on the handle of her sword. Johnny cocked his head.

"This favor, you were talking about?" he said, probably trying to distract Mattie from what he was hiding.

"Well... you see..." Mattie started. She wasn't exactly sure how she was going to say it. "You... my crew and I would love your help for revenge against something called Nickelodeon. It... it wronged us. And it's not right, Johnny, it's not right! It broke our hearts, and it doesn't care! It needs to be taught a lesson. Will you help us?"

She held out her free hand. Johnny looked from Mattie's face to her hand. He looked back up to her and grinned. Suddenly, he lunged, though Mattie had expected this. She watched as the moonlight from one of the cracks in the boards hit the metal, blinding her. Something collided with her head, and she felt herself going backwards, and everything around her was darkening. The last thing she saw was Johnny's smiling face above her, then everything was gone.

When she came to, she was lying outside of the shack with her crew around her. They were all checking her for injuries, and when they noticed that she was awake, they attacked her with questions. Mattie answered none of them, but marched right back up to the door and stood with her fist about to knock. She put her hand down after a few seconds, smirking. She returned to the RV and grabbed some rope, then turned to face her odd crew.

Then, suddenly, off they were, down the road again with Johnny's shack tied to the roof of the RV. Johnny, who hadn't realized what was happening, was still trapped inside, though Mattie had opened the door in the ceiling of the RV to welcome him. They were going to be on the road for a few days, so Mattie decided to stop at a 24-7 store, and had guards watch Johnny to make sure he didn't escape. When she came back and handed everyone drinks and food, she sat down in the driver's seat to find Johnny in the passenger's.

"Hello," he said. Mattie's breathing stopped momentarily. She stared at the homicidal maniac for a few seconds, then handed Johnny a cherry Brain Freezy.

"Hi," she said, a little scared. "I see you've come down."

"Yeah, well...," Johnny sighed. "I figured if I'm going to be stuck with you people, I might as well get to know you. I mean, you were really nice to me earlier." He looked up at her, with the straw barely in his mouth.

"Yeah, I'm not a mean person. I couldn't be if I tried," she chuckled softly. "But about earlier... why didn't you kill me?" She looked over to Johnny as she asked. He thought carefully before he answered.

"I dunno... I mean, you seemed like a nice person, even though I killed someone who was nice, you were just different. And besides, you had a mission to complete, and I didn't want to take that away from you, it wouldn't be fair. The other people I've killed were just pointless, they had no mission other than to hurt others," he finished with a heavy sigh, closing his eyes. Mattie stared at him, her expression soft and sympathetic. After that, they talked for a long time, until daylight.

As they drove on, they heard a loud popping noise, and noticed that the RV was now wobbling slightly. GIR leaned out the window and came back in screaming "THE WHEEL! IT DIED!". Mattie slapped her forehead and stopped the RV. She, Mallory, and Alyssa got out to examine it. The tire was extremely flat, and looking back there was a corn cob laying in the street behind them.

"A CORN COB?" Mallory exclaimed. "How did THAT happen?"

"Look," Alyssa said, pointing. The three of them squinted their eyes to see a man on the side of the road, dirty and smelly, selling corn. He hobbled over to them, grinning, showing hardly any teeth.

"This here's a corn cob," he said in a phlegmy sort of voice, holding a half eaten corn cob up. "It's used fer eating and throwin' at dem dere squirrels and raccoons. Nasty creatures."

"That's... very special," Mattie said, bending over to fix the new tire into place. The old hobo looking man ranted on about the horrors of trash can smells, and the horrible squirrel and raccoon wars. He was still rambling when the three girls got inside the RV and drove away. He even chased them down the road a little bit, which disturbed all of them except for GIR.

It was going to be a long, hard journey for the Pirate Monkeys. Especially if they were to survive the trip to San Jose, California, where the last member of the crew resided.

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_**Yes. Fun chapter. Now, to calm any of you that are enraged by the whole "you were just different" thing, that's not Johnny hitting on me, k? Trust me, this isn't going to turn into one of those stories like "and then me and johnny got married and had many, many babies together, all by the name of fred." because no. I'm going to try to make Johnny as in-character as possible, but I probably won't do a very good job at it, and making him love me would ruin the whole in-characterness of it all. So there you have it. no johnny/mattie love for you. or me. **_

_**dont' be angry at me, love my fic. R&R!**_


	5. Good Morning, Mr Vasquez

_**You know, you guys should really feel special. Here I am, sick, writing the next chapter for you. I feel dizzy. :sways slightly: But no! September 27th is going to be so kick ass. I get to dress like a pirate at school. hehehe. yes. I felt a need to tell you all that. :falls over:**_

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It was 2 o'clock in the morning and Mattie hadn't slept a wink. Johnny sat in the passenger's seat, sipping on another cherry Brain Freezy. He sighed as Mattie rambled, for she had not stopped since they had made it across the California border line.

"... so I thought maybe he could come along!" she was saying. She smiled. Johnny rolled his eyes and looked in her direction, pointing his Brain Freezy at her.

"Did you even tell him we're coming? It's 2 AM!" he said, frowning. Mattie paused before answering.

"Noooo..." she said in an innocent voice. She glanced at Johnny then back at the road, swerving to narrowly miss on of those big trucks that the author can't remember the name of. Johnny did not seem to notice.

"Why not?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

Mattie threw her hands up in exasperation, staring at Johnny. "Because! If we had told him, he would have ran away, and we would never get him! You don't understand! He hates people who--" but she was cut off by Johnny screaming.

"AAAAAAAAHH! THE WHEEL!"

SWERVE.

Mattie grabbed the wheel and hit the brakes. She exhaled deeply, relieved. Johnny, however, jumped up and pulled a knife out of his boot. "I COULD KILL YOU!" he screamed, right in Mattie's face.

"But you won't," she said calmly, wiping spit out of her face. Johnny laughed.

"And why not?"

"Because-- HEY LOOK!" Mattie was suddenly pointing out the window, towards a house they had narrowly missed.

A man was standing in the doorway, wearing a t-shirt and a pair of black and white striped boxers. The man's crimson red hair stood out most of all among his features. He seemed to be squinting-- perhaps he lost his glasses. The man was shaking his fist in anger and frustration. They had managed to swerve right into Jhonen C. Vasquez's yard.

"What is wrong with you? It's two AM! Go home, or I'll sue!" he screamed. His voice, though raised alarmingly, was still sort of soft.

Mattie was quickly undoing her seat belt and jumping up and down with joy at the same time. Finally she got free and jumped out of the RV, her legs running in midair. She hit the ground and nearly tripped, but caught herself and ran towards the crimson beauty. ((heh heh...)) She stopped when she reached him, squeals escaping her lips occasionally. Finally, when she had calmed down, Jhonen stared down at her.

"Can I help yo-- what are you wearing?" he said. Mattie ignored the last part. She bowed to Jhonen and stood up right again, holding out her hand.

"My friends and I would like to talk to you," she said breathlessly. Jhonen frowned and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not signing anythi--"

"Oh... that's not what we're here for," Mattie said with a nasty grin, looking around Jhonen's house. She had managed to make Jhonen back up several steps by moving towards him, enabling her to enter the house. She turned back, looking to the RV, and beckoned her crew to join her. They filed out of the RV, smiling and trying to get a better look at Jhonen. Mattie had told Zim, Dib, GIR, and Johnny that Jhonen was their creator. It had been a tough job telling them because they had a hard time believing her. She could see Zim jumping up and down, trying to look around and over Dib's head. Jhonen saw them too, and tried to force Mattie out of his house, screaming. Mattie grabbed his wrists however, and forced them down to his sides.

"Everything will be fine, matey," she said. Zim, Dib, and GIR made themselves at home on Jhonen's couch, while Mallory and Alyssa raided the fridge. Johnny, who was the last one in, made quite a scene. He ran and jumped at Jhonen, landing in his arms.

"DADDY!" he screamed, hugging Jhonen with delight. Jhonen screamed again and tried to get his homicidal creation off of him, but to no avail. The others laughed. Johnny finally let go of Jhonen and stood next to Mattie, looking down and becoming silent once more. Mattie smiled at Jhonen, marching forward.

"My name is Mattie, and this," she gestured towards the others, "is my crew of miscreants. I've come to ask you a favor." She then told him her plan to avenge Zim, and promised that Jhonen could deal with the head of Nick himself. She finished and stared at Jhonen, holding her breath. Jhonen, however, glared at Mattie.

"And you expect me, after four years, to go after Nickelodeon for canceling the show? And besides, what's the point? All they did was cancel it, it's not like they burnt the fans faces off for liking it. You need to get over it, Miss Mattie--"

"Captain Mattie, if you plea--"

"--and move on with your life," he finished. He crossed his arms and leaned back, staring at the young pirate. Mattie sighed, and got ready to make another speech. She fixed Jhonen with a sorrowful gaze.

"You're denying yourself, Jhonen. You're denying your own anger at the people you trusted. They wronged you worst of all, above all your fans, you were the one that was disappointed the most, and you can't tell me otherwise. Part of this isn't because they canceled a show, it's because they hurt us by taking away what makes you you, what makes me myself. IZ helped create a lot of good people, a lot of great personalities, and it brought together enemies as friends. Won't you help us, Mr. Vasquez? For me, for Zim?"

Jhonen looked to his knees with a sad expression on his face. He sighed heavily. "You're right."

Mattie smiled and patted Jhonen's head. She nodded at the crew and they filed into the RV, one by one. Mattie and Jhonen got in last, and Mattie allowed him to stay in the Captain's Quarters as long as he liked. They drove away, battled more old women at a Dollar Tree, and made their way to Nickelodeon Studios, the crew finally complete. They drove for some time, and it was nearly 6 AM by the time a flashing light loomed into sight.

"NICKELODEON STUDIOS!" it said. Mattie grinned in a nasty, knowing sort of way. Finally, after four years, Nickelodeon was going to learn a lesson.

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_**Whoooooooooo... this should be fun. I think my favorite part in this chapter is when Johnny screams "DADDY!" while in Jhonen's arms. That was just amazing. Well, read and review. I'm not sure if I got Jhonen down right or not, but I tried. Oh well. I really need to work on Dib Potty, don't I? Oh well. Maybe later.**_


	6. The Death of a Sponge

_**You know, it's a beautiful thing. I've found that more people are concerned for Invader Zim, other than the other shows that have fallen from the shiny TV screen. People actually cry, make video tributes to Invader Zim, and pour everything they have into it because it was canceled. There's sheer beauty in that. Yes, some people may say that we're stupid and immature, crying over a short green alien and a robot, but it's really not. It shows that you are true fans of something, and fandom for Jhonen Vasquez is beautiful, even in it's own sick, twisted way. I salute each and everyone one of you for it. 3**_

_**And with that said, on to chapter 6, finally.**_

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The crew members of the Pirate Monkeys looked to their captain for instructions, shaking slightly. They all seemed to be a bit anxious and frightened because of the task ahead of them. Captain Mattie had her back turned to them, however, and was staring out at the building, trying to block out the screams coming from the windows. The sky had turned a green color from the pollution of the building, and dark storm clouds circled around it. She closed her eyes and turned to her crew.

"This is it," she said. "The moment we've been waiting for. Justice day for Nick."

The crew exchanged nervous glances.

"Now, one of you must stay behind, as a distraction at the gate if any of the employees come. That'll be you, Johnny," Mattie said, nodding in the homicidal maniac's direction.

"Him!?" Jhonen piped up. "He'll kill anyone in his path!" Mattie's gaze quickly moved to Jhonen.

"Only if he is instructed to, right Johnny?" she said, holding up a Cherry Fiz Wiz. Johnny stared at the cherry goodness with a hungry look in his eyes, nodding. "Good. Now, everyone out, except Johnny. I need to disguise him," Mattie said, smirking.

Thirty minutes later, the Pirate Monkeys were standing on the other side of the gate, while Johnny stood near the RV, dressed in a little pink dress, a blonde wig, and pink high heels.

"Are you sure this is necessary?" he asked, shifting his weight (what weight?) uncomfortably from foot to foot. Mattie nodded.

"Yes, and don't question your captain, or it's Davy Jones' Locker for you!"

Johnny gave her a puzzled look.

"... Nevermind."

The rest of the crew followed their captain up to the double doors in front of the building where a sign read "Entrance to your Death-- I Mean Job".

"That always kept me wondering," said Jhonen. Zim, overly excited about his revenge, ran into the double doors, attempting to knock them down. The crew watched as he rammed his body into the doors, but to no avail. He looked around, grabbed Dib, and began smashing his abnormally large head into the doors.

"Stop it, stop it!" Mattie screamed. "You're going to get us caught!"

Zim dropped Dib onto the concrete steps. "Well, how else are we going to get inside? The doors are locked."

Mattie backed up several places, looking up the tall building. There were hundreds of windows, and only one was open, on the 4th floor.

"There," she said, pointing. The rest of the crew looked up to the window.

"Oh, bravo, you're a genius. The only problem is, WE CAN'T FLY, AND I'M PRETTY SURE WE'RE NOT SPIDERMAN!!" Jhonen screamed. Mattie backed up a few more paces from her hero, frightened.

"That's why we have Zim," she said. Zim looked at his captain, puzzled, but then a grin spread across his face, and his spider legs shot out from the pak on his back. Mattie grabbed onto Zim's gloved hand, and Johnny's cold one. Then the rest of the crew followed suit, and soon Zim was pulling them up the building, using his spider legs to climb. He pulled them through the window and massaged his arm, which was in pain from the weight of the others. Mattie looked around the room. There were bubbles everywhere for some reason, and sand on the floor. She shrugged it off, now noticing the door that stood ajar on the other side of the room. As she moved towards it, she heard a high-pitched giggling. She stopped dead in her tracks, looking around the room. Another door also stood open, a door to a bathroom, and a yellow hand was slowly pushing it open.

"Hide!" Mattie whispered frantically to her crew, and jumped in the closet, climbing up to the top shelf. The closet was so dark that she didn't need to close the door.

And at that moment, Spongebob Squarepants walked out of the bathroom with a towel around him. He spun around once, and the towel was gone, but now he was wearing clothes. He giggled again, walking towards the closet.

"I love being a cartoon!" he said. He bent down, examining a box in the closet that said "COSTUMES!!", wondering aloud what he would need for today's show. Mattie threw caution to the winds, and jumped down from the closet, landing behind the yellow monstrosity. Luckily, he had giggled again when her feet made the dull "THUD" against the sand. She pulled out her plastic sword and, praying that it would be quick and he wouldn't scream, thrust it into one of his holes.

He didn't scream. Instead, he giggled.

"That tickles!" he said, turning around, and the smile suddenly vanished from his face when he saw the pirate before him. "OH MY--" but the rest of the sentence was cut off by Mattie shoving him in the closet, and gauging his eyes out. She shoved a banana in his mouth to stifle his screams and ran out the door, ordering her crew to do the same.

"That wasn't necessary," Alyssa said, looking over her shoulder to the dressing room. Mattie merely shrugged and continued down the hallway. She looked around at the various dressing rooms, most of the names she didn't even recognize. She stopped at one, however, and looked at the name on the door. It was scraped off a little, though she could still see that it used to say "Invader Zim". But now, below it, it said "BROOM CLOSET". She cringed and kept walking.

"The head office is on the very last story, story 7," Jhonen said. Mattie nodded, cleaning the sponge off her sword. Mallory was doing a sort of jig as she walked, with GIR singing on her head. A figure moved at the end of the hall, making the crew freeze. Catdog made it's way down the hall towards them, and the crew had no where else to go. Finally, the mutant THING reached them.

"What's this? New show?" Cat said. Mattie half shook, half nodded her head.

"Isn't it a little too early for Halloween?" said Dog.

"MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, POOCHY!!" said Alyssa, slapping him and running. Mattie watched her go a little bit, then followed her with the rest of the crew.

"How long are these hallways? And how long will it take us to get to the head office?" Mattie asked Jhonen, who had obviously had experience in this building. He shrugged, not looking at her. They finally reached a staircase and began to climb up to the fifth floor. Patrick the Starfish was making his way down the steps towards them. He held out a... nub?... to stop them.

"Have you seen Spongebob? He's due on the set in five minutes," he said. Mattie looked to the rest of her crew, then back at the pink blob. She shook her head. Patrick nodded, muttered thanks, and kept walking. Mattie smirked as she relived in her mind what she had done to Spongebob, and what would probably happen with Patrick reached his dressing room.

They reached the top of the steps and were met with a dilemma. There were two hallways to go down, and even Jhonen didn't know which one to take. Mattie was just about to choose one at random, when they heard the frantic clicking of high heels coming towards them. Mattie turned to see Johnny running towards them, the blonde wig gone, though he was still wearing everything else, and he looked mad.

"There were no guards! They're all already here! The only thing I had to distract were two guys trying to hit on me!" he screamed at Captain Mattie.

Mattie grinned. "You weren't really a distraction, Johnny. I just wanted to see if you would do it." Johnny looked like he was about to murder her on the spot, but Mattie turned away from him to address the entire crew. "It looks like we're going to need to split up," she said. She pulled out two walkie-talkies from her jacket and handed one to Zim, and kept one for herself. "You," she said, pointing at Zim, "Dib, GIR, and Johnny. You go down the right hall. Me, Jhonen, Alyssa, and Mallory take the left one. Just tell us if you have trouble, or if you found the way to the head office. Good luck."

And with that, the two teams split up, each going down the opposite hall, running towards their destiny of doom.

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_**Woo! Cliffhanger AND a short chapter! Could I possibly get any worse? So yeah. R&R, and I really am sorry for the long wait. Oh, and don't hate me for the pink. You know you giggled at that, deep down.**_


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